Leadership is hard.
This is one of those phrases that I really didn’t understand until I lived it. Growing up, I thought leadership was fun, exciting, and fueling. I assumed that leading was mainly helping and equipping people to understand who they were made to be and how their gifts could be used to accomplish something greater than them. I assumed that, in leadership, I would be working with people who were willing, eager, and supportive. I was confident everyone wanted leadership in their lives and would be willing to make the sacrifices and practice the disciplines needed to maximize the leadership opportunities in their lives. I was wrong. Very wrong.
Many times throughout my ministry life, I have had to make the difficult decision to either lean into the harder parts of leadership or to shut down and simply tell myself that what I am doing and where I am at is good enough. I have chosen both paths. In the long term I have never regretted making the decision to lean into the harder parts of leadership. In the short term I have chosen many times to convince myself that I have done enough and it is ok to stop short of what leadership demands.
In one of the ministries I was a part of, we had a number of students who did not come from Christian families. They loved being a part of things, but were not very consistent on following up with details or following through with commitments. Since their parents were not a part of the church it was difficult getting their buy in. This one group of students loved each other and were just beginning to understand who Jesus was and what a relationship with Him looked like. They were a key part of the youth ministry and would bring energy, excitement and momentum when they were a part of it. I invested hundreds of hours in them and their friends and was excited when they started to show interest. Over the months it was encouraging to see them growing in their understanding of who Jesus is and who He could be to them.
The summer between their junior and senior year, we planned a mission trip. Part of the commitment was to be free a certain amount of days so that we could travel, participate in the mission trip, and then get back home. Everyone was excited and signed up to go. One month before the trip, I got a call from one of the students asking when we were going to leave for the mission trip. I told them the day and then they asked what time that day we were leaving. I told them that we would probably leave in the morning but could leave at noon. They paused and then said, well we are going to need to leave at 9:00 PM or later because there are a couple of us who are in a performance that goes until 8:00 PM that night. My first internal response was to scream, “WHAT!” I asked if there was anyway that could change. Was their a misunderstanding about the timing that we had agreed upon? What were the options? The response was that there wasn’t a misunderstanding, that there wasn’t any possible flexibility, and that there wasn’t any real options other than to leave at 9:00 PM. Most of me wanted to say, well I guess you won’t be joining us or I hope your parents can drive you across the country and meet us. But knowing that these student’s didn’t have that type of supportive parents and that they were very young in their faith, that there was no way they would be able to adjust and join us later in the week, I had to do some hard personal work. I had communicated. I had worked every detail that I could think of. I had done everything I could have done. And then I had to consider what God wanted me to do. After a couple days of prayer and consulting other people, I pulled the students together and told them we could wait to leave until 9:00 PM but it would mean we would be driving 18 hours straight to get where we needed to get to. If we did that, it would mean all of us would have to sacrifice comfort and preference to make it happen and then we would all have to commit to a week long of serving without complaining. All 35 people agreed and we changed the plan.
I don’t think any of the students realized the personal cost it took to make the changes. I was pretty exhausted working with parents, the mission organization, and the 18 hour drive, but it was what leadership demanded. I am not sure anyone’s life was changed that week, but I do know that sense of community that was built and the trust that was gained helped launch a number of those students into their adult lives. A number of them have become leaders in their churches, a handful have entered full-time ministry, and all of the students that I have talked to have great memories of what Jesus taught them that week.
The more I grow in leadership, the better I understand the significance of Jesus coming to earth, living as a human with humans, teaching people who were eager but naïve, and following through with the unimaginable difficulty of sacrificing His life for people who for the most part didn’t care. As I experience the harder parts of leadership, my love and deep appreciation for all that Jesus did for me grows. Jesus didn’t come into the world to lead, to encourage, to train, and ultimately die and rise from the dead for His own benefit, but He did all of that for my benefit so that I could have a chance to be forgiven and live an eternity with Him. As I continue to grow in leadership, I realize that leadership is less about me and more about the people I lead. In my leadership, I am learning humility, willingness to have truthful conversations, grace, and selflessness. Each are vital for successful leadership, especially in the hard. Young and old leaders alike, I encourage you to evaluate where in your area of influence is hard, and lean in.